It's been a week now that I've been actively SHing again and now the passive suicidal thoughts are intruding; like, I think that part of the reason I SH is to punish myself for being alive. I have been using the 988 hotline and have had 2 therapy appointments this week--with another one scheduled for Wednesday--but I'm literally surviving minute by minute at this point. I'm not sure what to do other than keep taking my PRN and texting the hotline. I'm also working on distractions, but they're difficult at times.