Yes those are such good words to live by, prioritize myself. Such a simple concept but sometimes so hard to execute. I think that story about your DD and intervention is so interesting. It is nice to here that kids can sort of extrapolate those lessons they learn, even from TV shows, and understand how their parents' behaviors are maybe not the most healthy. It does really help to hear about the conversations that you are having. I do think it has to help if you can have these honest conversations with your kids, especially when they are teenagers. My kids don't understand why anyone really drinks but it is definitely a fine line between making alcohol so forbidden its interesting to them vs. showing a healthy relationship. I have a friend who is very very militantly against food dye, like she won't let her kids have anything with it and she is super vocal about it. And when her daughter comes to my house I always find her knee deep in whatever she can find with dye in it and when I ask her what she wants for a snack she'll say, "What food do you have with food coloring in it", which is so funny. But it does illustrate the point that if you are so vocally against something it makes the kids almost more interested, right?

I really do try to have strong boundaries, I just don't know that they help. I was talking with my therapist about how indirect all the communication in my husband's family is and she mentioned to me that maybe that's why he is so difficult to communicate with directly. I think that is something worth thinking about. Like, if he makes a mistake, I want him to just acknowledge it and then we can move on. But the way he grew up and what he is used to is so indirect that he feels almost attacked by me directly telling him things like that. But, I also refuse to tip toe around things. So it is a difficult balance.


My therapist was flabbergasted by the whole "vaguely" thing. Her take was it could be many things, but maybe he meant that then or doesn't really remember, but doesn't mean it now or at least when we were discussing it so "vaguely" is a good way to sweep it under the rug. I tend to agree. It is also like what that other therapist said about ambivalent people. When you want something they pull back, when you pull back they come forward. I definitely think there is a little bit of that going on too.


I'm very swamped at work right now and my H is traveling a lot which, while a relief for me emotionally is harder physically to try and work and manage all of the kids at once. I am just going to keep moving forward and I guess see what happens.

How are things by you? Hopefully you are having a good spring season and everything is going as well as can be expected. I sure hope so!