I am married for 3 years and no kids. And were 2 young people. Me in my 20's and husband in 30's ( sorry i didnt know where to post this) For the past 2 years of our married life its been hell on both our parts. I barley communicated with my husband. I was healing in bad timeing due to an previous abusive relationship while married to my husband so the timeing couldn't be worse on trying to heal. I always thought I heal during the time of our engagement period but that didnt hapen. So my problem carried in my married life. My husband is a wondeful and supportive man that delt with mostly my crap over the past 2 years. And its been a year that everything has settled down. The problem is I feel like i'm married to a kid that does not know what the hell he is doing with his life. The other day we were in the car coming back from my parents house and he's listening to depressing music. I asked him why he said he maybe happy in the outside but is suffering in the inside and I dont know if i want to live like this.

Were in a large amount of debt. He's not thinking like an adult anymore. He wants to go out and make big purchases when he knows we cant afford stuff right now. Sometimes when he gets mad or upset he flares up and having the look of wanting to hit me. About 3 weeks ago coming back from my mom's birthday I was drunked coming back from the restuarent he slams his head in the window 3 times. He's aggrivated alot. He cant quit his smoking after a numerous time of telling him to cut it out. He's smoking in the house. In the car. And I have to cry to tell him to cut it out. I cant do this anymore. I want to call it quits so many times but i feel like i'm obligated to make this work. And our sex life is not intersting anymore.

And like this its making me more depressed to be in the marriage. Why i'm not leaving right now is because 1) i dont want to go back to my parents house. 2) i want to leave the state and start fresh i cant do that because the lawyer is trying to fix our credit. ( and the process of that takes to 4 months 3) want to avoid family embarrassment 4) he cheated on me with his ex gf and not telling me about it for 4 months ( i had to find this out by myself) and is expecting me to get over it.

Please help me. Any advice will do.