Just want to send strength and comfort your way! I believe you may be codependent with this ex of yours and also trauma bonded. Look up the trauma bond. It forms in the victims of abuse and functions exactly like an addiction, whereby you feel you can’t get by without them and need them. It’s the false promises of change that keep the abuse victim bonded and hopeful. Work on self love and healing. It’s the pathway forward. Fill yourself up with all that you enjoy about life. Get out there and live!!! You were in jail, you’re free now. Soak up that freedom and steer clear of this toxic thing/relationship. Focus on YOU…
By doing that, you break the trauma bond and the addiction to him. See him for who he truly is. Don’t hold onto potential. Let go. It’s not healthy for you. Focus on health, recovery and making progress forward. My words of advice, having been in a severely abusive marriage and after breaking free of my addiction to my ex.