Not sure what happened but I found myself in West Virginia no phone no wallet barely any clothes with some dude with many a track mark. Back in NH doing one night stands every night on the way back til now just for a warm body and a bed. Shelter won’t take me back because I guess before I left I called the lady that runs the place some nasty stuff.

Idk where to go from here. The only time I feel wanted or appreciated is in bed, and then I just wake up with “get away or get attached and hurt.” Nobody has ever really been able to tolerate me.

I’m not living. Any day is the end of my days of surviving.

I think I’m going to go to the hospital and get checked out physically. Since I checked back into reality I’ve been vomiting blood still, but now it’s involuntary