Hugs BB. I can tell you've got the negative thoughts (I get those). It's good that you're productive, but there's a self worth aspect (I am like this too), where compassion is to be given to yourself. Hang in there - I know what it's like to not have your own autonomy outside of relationship, not fun.

Idk how long I'm gonna be up all night.. Too much stim.. Heart beating harder and can't sleep. I work in 5 hours.. Have to fit in about 3 hours of sleep.