@blackroses , You know I would frequently teach college courses in the summer, night ones when I was practicing. When I went to work for the lab, I could teach days because I could work any shift I wanted. I have a wide array of things I can teach, I am an M.D. that is really interested in science and computers. I am literally the kind of person, when younger whose dad would purchase me say a Commodore 64/128, he would come home from work that evening and I would have it all taken apart. He never minded, so long as I could put it back together and it worked, if there was trouble he would help.
I had no formal education to be a teacher, I just got my state's certification by testing and literally learned it by doing it. Everyone has certain areas that they excel at over others. That being said, I have a rather strong opinion of this having spent so much time; At the Army Academy, Universities bothe as a student and a teacher then later during my internship and residency. When a student fails, I do not blame the student, I blame the teacher. There are those that just cannot grasp certain things and it is not for them. I have never taught a class once I had learned what I was doing, where those that worked hard, studied, would come to my office..etc.....etc. would fail on the whole. Now I did have people drop classes, this you have no control of. When I had a struggling student, I found a way to get to them and communicate it so they could learn it. If it was something that was bogging the whole class down, I would go in on my time on Saturdays and Sundays and have labs to help people. A true teacher never gives up on a student that is trying, no more than a true leader will ever leave one of their men/women behind on a battlefield. If you do that you are the one that is failing, at doing your job. If you feel it is just not something you can learn, that is fine we all have differing talents. I would take you into one of my classes in an instant and if you put the effort in, I would find a way to teach it to you. I am like the Terminator, "I absolutely, positively will not stop.....ever." My money is always on the student, as there are a great many crap teachers. In the past the math of my results has proven that to be true. Don't let the ideal of the concepts beat you, and if it is something beyond you, I am sorry. It just sounds to me like you need an actual teacher, who can figure out the way you can learn it.