I was astranged from my adoptive mother for most of my therapy....i would sometimes swing between blaming myself and blaming her... She died and I found out 4 yrs later no, one had told me.. T was a great support and kept me grounded in the real mother/child dynamic I had with adoptive mother... T said, she too got angry that my brother had chosen not to tell me, saying he could have said "you're not wanted at the funeral but letting you know mum had died".. T said in the 15yrs you've been here I have never heard anything from you that puts your mother in an other light than abusive, and in that time if you were in the wrong something would have come out to show me she wasn't what you've told me she was and it was self protection to be astranged from her that I had tried many times tried to mage the relationship work but my adoptive mother had issues that weren't off my making and I was the vessel she used to project her negative traits into..