am.. feeling.. very out of sorts... I do not know how to explain.. to anyone... that one of my alters is deeply depressed... however, that is not the "all" of me... so... when I am told I have a "choice" to life my life differently.. I am deeply offended,,, very deeply offended..

And.. yet it is my problem... because.. the other person.. though may understand.. DID... doesn't understand.. the choices...

so very complicated...

and.. I feel... so ... "unheard" and so "unloveable"..

I told.. the body work T... that is a tattoo.. that I want on my arm.. and I do believe.. I will move forward.. and get it..

I don't.. think I can ever be "loveable".. or understood...

freewill... the host... has retreated...and will not be around for a very long time..