I can type because there's not 1000s of inner people fronting now because they're resting from me and that's okay I so tired of being a bother. I'm so tired of feeling like I'll be tortured in the afterlife. I'm so tired of being stuck out here with no friends no life no money no one showing they care at all no money for food except pea paste. I'm tired of not being able to chew food. I'm tired of always feeling max stressed out. I'm tired of living in other peoples homes always hiding from them. I'm tired of this overwhelming fear every time I have go shopping at the store. I'm tired of always feeling afraid afraid afraid. I'm tired of having stigmata on my palms. I'm tired of having constant day and night serious allergy symptoms of running nose for entire life from childhood. I'm so tired of truly believing 100% that this reality is fake, a dream, that NOBODY is real, nothing is real, and terrorfied what is going to happening to me. I'm so tired of seeing couples in videos showing affection for each other and never ever knowing what it feels like to have someone be in love with you and be close and show affection for you and being able to do the same after wanting it will all my heart and soul my entire adult life. I'm so tired of trauma. I'm so tired of constantly every moment my life grinding my teeth to distract from emotional mental pain. I'm so tired of feeling like my entire body and emotions and mind and soul has been exploded and just dangling in a disastrous pile of pain. I'm tired of always waking up to panic attack if I fall asleep on my back and struggling to breathe. I'm so tired of feeling like even my mom the one I trusted to most in this entire life didn't give two hoots about me like I was a mistake even as an infant just leaving me alone in that little office room day and night stuck on my back with an older demon child. And on and on and on and on. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm becoming more and more numb to pain because pain like this should never exist ANYWHERE! I'm so tired of not being able to end myself.