It has come to my attention today, that I may be a tad elevated and things are a tad unsafe. I have a case manager who is trying to get me into treatment faster than the three month waitlist, but I have not heard from her since...idk when, it wasn't today and I don't think it was yesterday. Not sure what to do and honestly I keep wondering how the fk I'm still alive and it must be because I'm ******* immortal. I haven't been able to get too much sleep lately, and I've been alternating between incredibly tired (for some reason keep becoming anemic) and, right now, feeling like I never have to sleep again.

Does it count as mania if the "symptoms" are only when you're dissociated, and then you come back I guess and you feel as regular as a person can, but you find out you've done some shyyyyyyyyyyyyyyt?

(Totally didn't walk 6 hours to my dad's old place only to find he has been AWOL. Also don't have snip its of last night being in the middle of nowhere with the drunk chica sitting 'round a bonfire and then all of a sudden find myself in a drug den and slipping out at some point when it was dark). Does using count if you don't remember it?

What am I doing???????????