Yes Muddy, the path of change is fraught with challenges obviously, ups and downs, times where you will be thrown from the horse only to realise you have to climb back on the horse. These conflicts you mentioned indicate stress, because it's understandably a stressful time for you or for anyone seeking to change. Never mind all that. Just keep going with your aims and goals as the prime focus, doing your best and just try not to listen to the head which will send you all kinds of self defeating messages - messages picked up from the culture, the society, and believed. But it is not to be believed Muddy. Believe in the good of what you're doing every day. It's an heroic struggle you are undertaking. Time will change you, you'll see. 🙏