Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
Ya know, he probably cannot help you with your shame, because he cannot deal with his own shame. He puts up rules and regulations and boundaries, but he hides his own shame. Just as you have always suspected about his feelings towards his son. I was aware of my t's shame. He even told me he had thought i was trying to shame him, when actually i was asking him, how are you surviving? I think that was a valid question to want to ask your t. Why shouldnt they be a mentor? But your shame makes him uncomfortable so he blames you. You need a smarter and more human t. Not one you try to coax - like i was doing with penultimate t. Its like my last two ts had only one gene difference between them.
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Thanks, Una, this resonates. And I was just thinking that it's actually a similar dynamic to something with my mom--where she also has anxiety (both Dr. T and ex-T have said it's obvious from how I've described her). But she doesn't want to accept it, let alone admit it, so she seems critical of me for my anxiety instead.
Whereas my mother-in-law has anxiety and admits it, so she's empathetic to me for mine (and accommodating/understanding).
But yeah, maybe it's a similar dynamic with Dr. T, but with shame or something similar. And/or maybe self-doubt/insecurity from some things he's said.