Thank you for your advice. It’s okay that you can’t offer any consolation. I am dealing with the grief as much as I can. I am smiling when I am able to. I feel there’s two types of courage. One for him owning up/ showing up and another that I stop being scared of him hurting me. I assured my mom that he hasn’t done anything wrong. I need to forgive myself and stop being scared. I hope you understand and be kind to me. I am at a very feeble stage right now.