I think I'm just overdoing it. At some points even within the past year I would go a couple days and the only person I'd see is my mom or S, and now I am CONSTANTLY trying to handle being in contact with what feels like half the city, jumping from apartment to apartment from park to park from Dunks to the library. Am I escaping loneliness and having to sit with myself? Of course. Is the constant push-pull and "I'll disappear from this earth for your sake" line I'm dropping to everyone any better for me or anyone else? Probably worse.