That's a good point, to talk to R about how to deal with the consequences of the decision.

And I know it may seem that way, but it's not just about his deciding to keep the fish--it's also about his understanding my feelings about it. Realizing how it affects me. And maybe feeling some level of empathy or sympathy for that. Even if it ultimately ends up that it won't fit in the space.

I think it also would help if I could understand where it's coming from. Or at least why it matters to me, even if I can't identify "Oh, this ties to this incident when I was 8 years old." As right now, I feel sort of ridiculous that it's affecting me so much. But R does the "when did you first feel like this in your life" sort of thing. Not sure I'll/we'll be able to figure it out, but hoping so.