Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo
I imagine if he were offering it back to you (sort of like re-gifting), it might feel more meaningful, rather than you reclaiming it for yourself. A relational process rather than a unilateral one. If the two of you were able to discuss the significance of the fish (the meaning is obviously not just about the fish itself) and what the giving, receiving, placing of the fish symbolizes then the offering it back to you could open up further work again. For example, the fish might be understood as parts of you and those parts belong with you and not others. At the moment it all sounds locked in rejection, shame, misunderstanding instead of being able to explore what's happening relationally and in your process. He seems to be thinking of it all very literally.
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Yes, that's a good explanation. That it would feel different if he were offering it back to me. I do think the issue right now is how it feels unilateral. Like I have no agency. I already feel that way with the move, so this is another level of that.
And yes, it seems he's thinking of it literally, like "object to put in the office." I'm hoping that in talking to R, I can get a better understanding of what it's about for me that I can then relay to Dr. T. Not that it will necessarily change how he feels about it. Like, maybe he'd still say, "I get to decide what's in my new office." But if he could at least understand and maybe, possibly empathize, that would help.
And if it seemed like he understood, then he said, "Would you like to take it back?" it would feel different, better.