"Hello. My name is Jane. I need a therapist. I have insurance and I am employed. I am also entertaining suicidal ideation. Please call me back at 555-1212."

Simple.

I agree. . .it's insane to try to get help in this country. However. . .it IS against the law for a therapist to hear you state that you are "entertaining ideas of suicide" though not having a plan, and NOT contact you.

Manipulation. . .gotta love it.