You're so alone right now ...

You need care.

I take 3 antidepressants, and antipsychotic and an anti-anxiet agent.

Things can definitely get better, but you're in the tunnel right now. You need good, caring, qualified help right now.

I'm worried about you.

Check out other online supports such as:

DBSA - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

HeyPeers - Where Peers and Support Groups Connect (where you can get one-on-one support, if needed, as well as groups)