I never had such intense interpersonal storms and an emotional rollercoaster that I felt with my entire being when I was in the woods passed out drunk alone every day.

Future can be better than present AND past???

I want to give everyone I've talked to more than twice a break from me. And I think I need a break from the amplified insecurity I'm feeling from feeling confident and hopeful with a person and then so unstable and vulnerable when there is the faintest (perception of) a slight, too. Yeah, being alone fking sucks, but talking to people every day and then feeling 100000% lonelier when you are sitting with yourself sucks more.

ahhhh FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!! I don't know how someone can go from soooo high and feel like everything is together and loving and passionate to feeling such despair, loneliness, and hopelessness and wanting to kill herself so freaking rapidly!