((((black-roses))))

You explain that so well..... what an insight to have. It's a real epiphany.

In my case, it's been "learned helplessness" to a degree. And the giving up that comes with that. But, I'll now look at my experience that way you have... it's awful to feel unworthy. We learned that most likely from our FOO (Family of Origin).

We need to treat ourselves with self-compassion.

There are meditations available from Insight Timer or YouTube that focus on self-compassion.

I just did a quick search and found this one. She's from Australia. It's on InsightTimer: Insight Timer - #1 Free Meditation App for Sleep, Relax & More

Maybe that would be helpful??