I glanced at your previous threads, as well as reading your posts here. I did that because your situartion sounds so dire. I think you will remain depressed as long as you stay in this marriage.

The main impediment to a woman leaving a marriage like yours is usually financial. I saw that you were following a course of study that should lead to employment. Even with such a job, you will struggle financially being on your own. But you can survive on your own. Women with less education than you manage to make it. However, it might be prudent to complete your course of study first, if you're terribly afraid of not being able to cope financially. Don't tell your husband that you plan to leave. Managing very small kids on your own will also be tough, but I doubt your husband is much help with the kids now. I'ld advise you to plan on leaving, but pick the time when you will be more prepared than you are right now. How much longer before you complete your program of study?

From how you describe him, I don't see where he has any potential to ever become much different from exactly how he is now. This sounds like a loveless marriage. This guy sounds really mean. Anyone that mean is never going to become "nice." You'll never be happy living with this man.

Once you conclude you need to escape this marriage, it becomes a matter of figuring out the logistics of doing do. I'm mainly talking about money. It's a tough challenge, but other women have managed to do it. So can you.

You are being mentally abused. If you can, try to get to a support group for abused women . . . though I don't know how you can get to a meeting, if you're caretaking small kids around the clock. Make a phone call to an agency that counsels abused women. You can get some suport over the phone. Do a Google search for domestic violence resources in your area. If you have the funds, make an appointment with an attorney. Don't let your husband know you're doing that. He'll just get nastier with you.

I think your situation is awfully serious. Staying in it will eventually lead to you becoming more and more beat down psychologically and more and more convinced that there is no way out. He will browbeat you into believing that. Keep posting and getting the support you can get here, and get any support you can from elsewhere. It's going to be tough, but there is a pathway out. Arguing with a man like that is pointless. Keep you thoughts about leaving to yourself, until you are ready to actually make a move. Pleading with him on your knees won't change how this marriage is. It would be good to keep a journal, if you can keep it hidden from him. In it you can document what you are going through. If there's a risk of him finding your journal, then do it electronically. You can use this website to record the bad experiences you have with him. I hope to see you continue posting.