I don't think this is lining up. I completely understand the guy not wanting other people's stuff in his office. I agree with him on that. Even people I love don't get to decorate my house.
If you want to talk about the pain of the loss of the fish -then why not do that rather than focusing on getting the therapist to do an act? It does seem like you try to control him - I don't see it as taking care of his emotions. I do think of it as child like attempts at getting to be one way or the other with you (which would make sense if there is some paternal transference). I don't think, from what I have read, the therapist is supposed to satisfy every want a client has.

To me it seems there is a lot of time/energy spent planning on how to get specific things out of him -Like with the having the appointment even though you were sick because you wanted some emotion from him because you were sick (him being nicer because you were not well thing).