Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I don't think this is lining up. I completely understand the guy not wanting other people's stuff in his office. I agree with him on that. Even people I love don't get to decorate my house.
If you want to talk about the pain of the loss of the fish -then why not do that rather than focusing on getting the therapist to do an act? It does seem like you try to control him - I don't see it as taking care of his emotions. I do think of it as child like attempts at getting to be one way or the other with you (which would make sense if there is some paternal transference). I don't think, from what I have read, the therapist is supposed to satisfy every want a client has.
To me it seems there is a lot of time/energy spent planning on how to get specific things out of him -Like with the having the appointment even though you were sick because you wanted some emotion from him because you were sick (him being nicer because you were not well thing).
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Well, he could have not accepted the fish to begin with. He'd already told me early on that he had gifts from clients in his office, so I had assumed that meant he was OK with it. And he found a spot for it. I offered to take it back if it didn't meet his taste, and he said no, that "It was a fine gift."
And I am talking about the pain of it. That's what this is all about--the pain that there might not be a spot for it.
In terms of the appointment when I was sick, it was partly because I'd canceled (granted, with 48 hours notice, when he only requires 24) the previous appointment to meet with R instead. I was concerned if I canceled a second session in a row, he might think it was because i was mad at him, that I was acting out, rather than sick. And I did still want to meet. I think it's OK to want a bit of kind emotion from someone when ill, to be taken care of a bit.