Stopdog, we will make a working therapist out of you yet.

And comrademoomoo, good post, both of you.

LT - I think we are just trying to get you to see the subtle differences in what is going, just different slices of it, different perspectives.

ETA - "The collaboration part". Yes! That is what you are disallowing when you give an ultimatum. You try to refuse him space in his own space. He cannot collaborate with you if you are standing in his space.