My mom got my young adult brother to beat me in my early teens over telling a teacher I was feeling distressed. This of course triggered my mom into a rage because she had to talk to the teacher and it made her look bad.

Sociopath/ narcissistic people tend to pull this kind of ******** on people.

When my mother died, they gave control to my brother so he could exclude me from attending her cremation because they were “concerned” I’d have an outburst. They projected their poor behaviour onto me and my family happily stuck by with him claiming I was mistreating them for questioning them. They accused me of lying about the abuse and pretty much of lying especially if it involved needing feedback from dealing with a difficult person. They would flip the table and accuse me of being difficult and of lying.

I often felt left to deal with difficult situations alone.

The other thing they’d do (mom, brother and other family) is smear me to everyone. I remember my mom claimed she would lie and get away with it.

After my mom died they accused me of being exactly like my mother and then basically lied about some things I did, and only seemed to engage when they wanted to provoke a reaction.

You cannot reason with people like that. More importantly you can’t point out their toxic patterns because they will devolve into an immature rage that can have unfortunate consequences.

My aunt claimed I harassed her and said she was going to charge me with harassment over questioning their behaviour yet she literally harassed and tried to provoke a response.

I guess they needed to keep the narrative going that I’m the toxic one, instead of giving me space to heal and grieve from the maltreatment.

It’s like they feared not having someone to dump on when my mom died.