I was thinking about the dates thing and I realized I really don't pay much attention to them. I know about when(the months) my mom passed away and my adored grandmother but I can't remember the days. I know when my person passed away only because of the school calendar. Half the time I don't remember why students have ashes on their heads (teach at a catholic uni) for a few seconds until I think about it. I don't remember the date my high school best friend committed suicide (when we were in our late 40's- 50s - I can't even remember the exact year) Dates/anniversaries are not something I keep in my thoughts. I am not sadder or happier on an anniversary than I am any other day.


The woman I hired was probably anxious - my avoidant-ness seemed to cause her no end of concern.