Sorry BB No more weed.. Just one puff, that's all you need from a vape pen. It's strong AF.

I went for a hike today. I worked this morning. I don't feel very accomplished - A friend got jealous that I feel for a girl... and got me to block her. I'm tired of nonsense like this. He's deeply in love with me - I love him as a friend - He helped me with my trauma for 2 years and then tore it all down - Saying I'm immature, fake, a terrible person, and that I will burn in hell - Then regretted it badly. So I said sorry to her, but in any way I don't want relationships - I can't put in the long term effort.. I just want to be alone and study neurons etc...

Why do people love me.. All I do is hallucinate and overthink in isolation. But I have a lot of empathy, more than I realized.. It's like a loot of empathy - But I'm not an "empath" or anything special like that.

Maybe this forum helped idk.. Although I've always been this way as a kid - School was way too harsh for me.. The real world is harsh. I need to grow up.. But I want to keep my sense of wonder, curiosity, etc.. I want to grow up as in, I want the LIFE grow in me...