Totally right.

I've been learning about BPD thinking it's more of a problem than I thought. The way the T that dx'd me with described it made it seem like chaotic relationships were kinda a minor side thing combined with separate traits that just sometimes show up as a cluster in a person and then they're diagnosed, but nah, it's more like each symptom leads to and feeds off each other, usually because of a certain way of growing up. What I'm learning tells me this thing has affected a lot more than I thought. Kinda pissed it took 10 years of treatment for some one to say "hey, this is a thing," and then them brushing it off like it's just a cut that'll heal itself, and then to read and watch enough videos on it to get a decent understanding and be pissed at myself for seeing someone say "hey, this is incredibly unhealthy behavior" and me not seeing or ignoring that it's unhealthy behavior not just for myself but for people around me too.

I still feel like I need a step by step instruction guide on how to keep people in my life though.