I can understand some of what you're feeling, though I'm about twice your age. I wish I could say things get better, but I just feel like my mental illness is getting worse with age. When I was in my twenties I was a drunk and out of control, but I'm not that way anymore, so things can get better in that regard.

I don't really know what my point is to be honest. I'm sorry. I just feel like my future is long term state mental hospitalization. I'm getting tired of fighting all the time. I'm always a few steps away from a break down. I wish my meds WEREN'T locked up. 😪

All we can do is take it a day at a time, or an hour at a time. Whatever you need to do to make it through your day, and know that there are people who care about you, I being one of them.

I'm depressed as fuk right now. I wish I could be more positive. Again. I'm sorry.