I'm glad you posted, @
Discombobulated.
I saw this forum quite a while ago, but there was so little content I passed it by.
My caregiving officially started when my wife was stricken with a neurological disorder and sent home after four weeks in a hospital. She recovered the ability to walk (with awkward gait and balance issues) but had / has constant pain.
She has ups and downs. I work hard to do chores during the down cycles (in addition to my day job). But then when she's "up" all I want to do is rest and recover, so I tell her to go shopping or go to the movies (or whatever) with a friend. And so we've become caregiver / patient instead of husband and wife. Maybe I'll put that in a separate thread one of these days.