I'm a bit alarmed about the amount of apathy I've been exhibiting recently. I am a huge fan of heavy metal music. It's one of my greatest passions in my free time. However, I'm going to a concert tomorrow night--featuring one of the first metal bands I ever heard, who are partly responsible for my love of metal--and I don't feel the least bit excited. On top of that, I'm going to be seeing my college friends after the concert, those I consider my true friends, and it doesn't bring any joy into my heart knowing I'll soon be in their company again.

I realize that this is one of the major symptoms of depression, namely losing interest in those things that one once loved, but I haven't been this apathetic for several years. I don't know what to do. I also feel like a hypocrite since a few hours ago I was trying to give advice to some people on pc about this very issue.

Ugh, I don't know what to do... I think I'm just going to try what I used to do when I got like this: just dive right into those activities without any expectations and see what happens. 99% of the time, I come out having enjoyed it, so I hope it'll work this time. I just don't know what to do in the meantime. I think it's partly because I've been so alone for so long that I'm feeling like this: being away from people seems to drain the humanity out of me. So hopefully this will change tomorrow. Sorry for the rambling, I just really needed to get that out.

J