It’s normal to be where you are in terms of not being ready for another relationship. It’s the narcissist that jumps into other relationships because they don’t genuinely love and instead need to constantly fill a void. And they tend to engage for a financial gain. And they feel entitled to do so and play the victim.

You have integrity and you loved your wife. She can’t return that and this is hard to understand. Add to that her drinking which is yet another narcissistic problem. It’s no wonder you struggle to trust yourself or getting into another relationship.