So, from what I gather your enmeshment with your toxic family is ruining your husband's mental health and your own? And your husband has been brought to the brink of wanting to kill himself because of your family and your involvement with them?

Sounds like there needs to be stronger boundaries and less involvement with your family for the sake of your health, your husband's health, and the health of your marriage.

A therapist can help you with this situation, I do believe, but both you and your husband have to want to save the marriage and be willing to talk through the issues in therapy.

You yourself have to be able to enforce boundaries and stand up to your family members in the face of disrespect. Your husband is clearly having meltdowns because of how your family interacts and because of your involvement with them.

Based off your one post, if you love your husband and want the marriage to stay in tact, you will have to make some changes. That's the way I see it. I hope therapy helps.