It will not be your fault if your mom and stepdad get a divorce.
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How can I repair all of this? What can I do to get us out of here? This hell that I created.
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You are the way you are because of the toxic manner in which you were brought up. That is not your fault.
Individual counseling for you, and for your husband, is
essential. You both absolutely need this. Do you have experience in individual counseling?
Regarding next week: don't bring your husband.
How close are you with your niece? If you are not close, don't go. Disregard what extended family says, don't tell them anything. Start to free yourself from family demands.
If you are close to your niece: What if you stay with your mother, as you mentioned? What will happen?
Don't apologize to your sister because people pressure you to do that.
Couples counseling with your husband is a good idea.
Hang in there!