Sorry, but if you have to worry about exactly how to word a statement to your husband about his cologne being too much, then you’re walking on eggshells around him so as not to set him off. You should be able to give that feedback without him flipping out or turning on you. The fact that you can’t give very simple feedback and make a very simple request is ridiculous. I’ve been reading your posts for a long time. This man is an abuser and you are in an abusive marriage. Period. You’re being abused and mistreated. Rather than trying so hard to figure out how to word something so he doesn’t explode, figure out how you can leave him. This marriage is not healthy for you.