Oh God, my clothes don't fit anymore. I've been in boxers and jammies for I don't know a month and before that it was sweats and a (tank top+hoodie combo so I haven't really tried my regular underwear/jeans/t-shirts since December when I was at the height of my restriction, and, they are FAR from fitting. I don't even think the next size up will fit. I haven't restricted or purged in about a week (binged though), but the ED mindset combo of (TW: thoughts that might instigate behaviors)

*But the out of control feelings man. Not sure if I have to report that I'm not in a shelter anymore or have a place I'm pretty consistently staying to the gov't because I did say I was homeless back in January and they upped my social security (I don't get because that means I stopped paying rent???) I'm seeing Chica get abused by her bf. Big one is having a partner, realizing they're a favorite person, and dealing with that cycle of idealizing them, fearing the abandonment and looking for any slights, devaluing them, "testing them" to see if they'll counter derogatory stuff I say about myself or if they'll reach out if I don't talk to them for a while, and then repeat that cycle. Idk why I do this to myself.

Part of bulimia recovery too is separating the addictions of binging and purging, and having to work on not purging first because that is straight up self-harm that makes you feel like it's okay to binge because of it's "compensatory" nature. I've heard of some people continuing to binge for like a year after stopping purging, not because they want to, just because it takes as long as it takes to work on the two aspects.