I'm currently in a situationship with my daughter's father/my abuser.
I'm in a relationship with a man I met online a little over 4 years ago. We've been in a relationship for a little over 2 years, and I gave birth to our unplanned blessing back in September of last year. I gave birth to a (6wk early) preemie babygirl who's currently almost 8 months old.
From the day of us meeting in person and moving in together, he's been nothing but abusive towards me (physically/emotionally/mentally). His personality changed from hopeless romantic with a kinky side to an absolute childish, abusive a-hole. He's a drug addict in recovery that suffers from PTSD, ADHD, anxiety, and was recently diagnosed with DID. Throughout our relationship, he has been emotionally/mentally abusing me as well as physically abusing me. The worst physical incidents have been slamming me against walls by my throat, lifting me by my throat, hitting me open-handed across my face, throwing me to the floor and kicking me hard enough to bruise my butt and upper thigh for months after, and even hitting my head triggering me to have seizures. He's even hit me across my face while I was holding our baby multiple times. He's had me fearing for my own life when he goes into his all-out rages.
He's been getting help through counseling phone calls through his mental health provider, but I feel like when he's in his calls that he isn't 100% honest with everything. After every phone call, he doesn't change anything he's saying or doing. It's as if the call never happened. Now I understand with DID the alters/personalities can either know or not know of each other and what happens through the host, but at the same time I believe that he needs to be in more active help than just an hour long phone call session every month or so.
That all being said, I honestly no longer am in love with him and want to leave with my babygirl, but he won't make it easy. He's threatened to do everything in his power to make sure I don't take his daughter away from him, even if it means reporting me to DFS.
I'm a first-time mom and my daughter is my first and only child, I can't lose her. I've already lost myself and my sanity...I can't lose my child as well...