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Welp. Totally backtracked AGAIN. But this was a good sign. I have been aching for weeks with grief and heartache about my ex and how much I missed him. According to his mom, he's still in the psych hospital and will leave in 2 weeks to go to a community residence. It will be up to him to stay in treatment and stay clean and do the right thing, that's the real test.
I backtracked because I called him. He can't find out my phone number because I called the public telephone on the ward. It was so good hearing his voice, I wished him the best and told him that I really hope he takes care and makes a better life for himself. It was the closure I needed that I didn't get from what I thought was our final conversation a month ago- that one was just awful. He sounded so sad, but this was for the best, and I think he accepts it now as much as I do. I won't go beating myself up any more about this whole thing, I feel that I needed to call so I did.
May he find peace and God guide his path - I did everything I could for him. I love him so so much still, I think I will for a very long time.
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