I disassociated (I experienced derealization, rather than depersonalization) when I was in the process of separating from my partner. I remember it was over, but I spooned him in bed, hoping that the nightmare of derealization would go away and I wouldn't feel like I was going insane.

It's interesting that your wife finds it brings her comfort, and I can see that... sounds like she's not afraid of it, like I was.

These are challenging times for you both. Do you each have your own psychologist to help navigate such a big change? And to deal with the guilt, etc?