I’m slipping. I had vague memories of drinking while dissociated a couple weeks back, before that I was dissociated of the blacked out variety for weeks and when I came out of it I had track marks. I just brushed this off as a “that wasn’t me,” episode and said I’d do better. I’m, as far as I can say, not dissociating and feel like regular but depressed Sam, but still drank. Not a lot, just probably three drinks worth but it was hard liquor and I can tell it’s going to be hard to stop this ball from going down the hill.