Your list of meds sounds like mine. Although I don't have a substance abuse issue (thank God cause I have more than enough issues) I really think meds would help. Not sure what meds...I've been trying different mixtures for years. I'm finally "sort of stable" at the moment but that changes in a heartbeat. If you could find sober living whose rules you could follow and get a good med doc I think it would help a lot. Have you looked into intensive outpatient ? They'll usually treat substance abuse along with BPD or whatever.