Thank you JaneOnceMore. Yeah, I fear the effort put into something will only be wasted time and effort, as even with therapy nothing has helped. Highly doubt anything will work out or change, but thx.

RDMercer - depression has been my entire life experience (aside from seeking solace in escapism with drinking for 15yrs (been sober for give or take 10 to 11yrs now though). And yes, indeed, I could not agree more with what you've shared in relation to stress and anxiety. That being said, however, how exactly does one “quit talking, albeit thinking, poorly or negatively about one's self, when, their existence is nothing but just that – simply existing from one day to the next – lost, in endless extreme isolation? To answer your question “is there help you can access for depression and anxiety”, I have been in and out of therapy since I was 17y/o, and with that, nothing (and I truly mean NOTHING) has helped – whatsoever. As for your other line of questions, cant say I really, say, I am “looking at any career or work” at this time. I don't mean to imply that I am not trying to search for something, there honestly hasnt been a day (in the last 20yrs) I havent been lookin for something. Yet how does one sale themselves (in the interview process) when you've altogether been beaten down in this life, where you've been diagnosed with all these issues (like bipolar, borderline personality disorder, complex-ptsd, dissociate identity disorder, agoraphobia, social anxiety) and still try to “find you place” among the masses? Unfortunately, however, I was injured in my last job, by trying to stop a bar fight no less, and have a difficult time walking or even standing for too long anymore. So to answer that question (as the old country song goes) I Ain't As Good As I Once Was, not able to be as physical as I once was able.

HALLIEBETH87 - I believe there is v-rehab's here in my home town. And, I was at one time in the process of getting set up with one. However, being out in public anymore (guessing due to my past experiences) is just not as easy for me as it is for others. But ya, I will more than likely have to psych myself up enough to reach out again, and see if v-rehab can be any help.

Thank you MuddyBoots, however, I don't think this (applying for disability) is something I will be able to do. I spent a little over a year going through all the processes, going over all my records, filling out all the paperwork – and yeah, I find myself having to crawl back out of the pit of despair each and every single time I had to deal with any of that. And that alone, the crawling out of said pit, was not only (beyond) soul-crushing, but so utterly mentally and emotionally exhausting. Just seemed like dying in my sleep would have solved a lot of problems. I am still on the fence in reaching out to a life coach, however, as my situation isn't all that easy to deal with (or understand for that matter, yet I wont bore anyone here with all that)

Victoria'smom - I wish it was “that easy” to simply get the depression and anxiety treated.

TheGal - what are these “basic needs” in which you speak of (sarcastically asking, so forgive me if that comes out/ off wrong here). I've never had a support system, never had anyone to turn to/ talk with (no one that would stick around for long anyways). Even in the job I worked at for 30yrs, the idea of ones basic needs is such a foreign concept to me, as it seems everyone else had a right to “have a bad day” or “be in need of something”. Yet when it came to me, I was just thrown aside and forgotten about. I would absolutely love (wholeheartedly) to be able to work a basic job at this point. Starting a business, however, seems more like a pipe dream for me though, as I highly doubt I would be able to handle all the stress that is associated and comes with it.