It's been a chaotic week. Thanks for the response, SquarePegGuy. It prods me to take a few minutes for myself. Sharing my own food doesn't work with him. Plenty of times I've eaten alone, with him sitting across from me, refusing to eat. I'm in agreement that his not eating is in the realm of self destructive. I think he's afraid of dying, but not really wanting to live, either. He doesn't have much faith in what happens after death....doesn't really believe in an afterlife, reincarnation, Heaven, anything like that - but he expresses concern about Hell, and his regrets of how he's treated others, including animals.
It sounds like you've got a whole mess of frustration on your end too. I'm glad you're finding ways to cope, especially since it started affecting you physically. Your posts are making me think that I should also let him be a little more accountable for his words, actions. I know I've been "babying" him quite a bit, and that's not doing either of us any good. Well, he enjoys it, but, I think it's just prolonging things, and making things worse for me.