Well, today is day 8 of T's vacation. I have an appointment on Monday (only 4 more days).

T has been on a few vacations since I started therapy, but this is the hardest one yet. I think it's partly because I am so attached to him, but it's also because my entire support system kind of fell apart at the same time. One of my best friends left for a month in Sweden the same day T left. My other best friend has been really sick, and just sleeping ever since he left. Hubby is depressed (he goes through cycles). And T is gone.

I used to be really, SUPER, self-sufficient. I didn't rely on anyone for anything. Since starting T, I've learned to let other people support me. And now I feel like everyone around me has said "go ahead, jump out of the plane, you've got a parachute" and I'm halfway to the ground and my parachute has disappeared.

Plus, my autistic son started a camp this week. He just turned 8 and since we homeschool has never done anything without me. He's really inquisitive and really in his own head a lot, and people just DO NOT get that he might wander off at any second. It's so scary to me. The camp is a social skills group FOR autistic kids, so I know they probably know what to expect, but it's still been really scary and I don't have anyone to talk to about it since everyone is gone, in one way or another.

This is hard.