This may not apply to you, but you stated you are a trauma survivor..... hence my earlier question.

There's a train of thought, among some therapists who treat trauma, that trauma survivors (particularly childhood trauma survivors) aren't well equipped for casual sex relationships. It's a whole thing about unmet needs and the "using" nature of the relationship being potentially very triggering.

The terrible catch-22 is that if you were (also) traumatized in a long term relationship/marriage, you probably don't want that either, so the other option looks more appealing in comparison.

It's a tough one. One rule of thumb for trauma survivors, is to take things slowly, and at your own pace, no matter what. I agree with Revenge Tour that if it's right it's right, no matter what it looks like. The best way to get there is to keep focusing on your own healing.