I was hospitalized in Dec. 2023 with severe mania & psychosis. It was my 4th psych hospitalization or maybe 5th, I can't remember.

It was a very traumatic period for me. A lot of the first part of it I barely remember or just have flashs of. When I started to stabilize some on the antipsychotic, I was in bad shape. They had me in restraints for days and even diapers (sorry for the TMI). I lost my voice from screaming. I was stuck in restraints with no voice in diapers and remember so clearly just being completely helpless. It was the worst feeling in the world.

I was in the hospital around 2 weeks. I am still getting flashbacks of the period, stuck in restraints for days, voiceless, in diapers for God's sake. It's like I can't get over it. I know I probably should try talk therapy again but really, I've tried over a dozen therapists in the past, CBT, DBT, etc. Nothing has really helped.

Has anyone else ever felt traumatized by psych hospitalization where it was just a horrible experience and is so terrible to remember? OMG, I just want it to STOP.