My Support Forums - View Single Post - anyone else traumatized with flashbacks from psych hospitalization?

MuddyBoots · May 21, 2024, 04:59 PM

A couple times in the ER but never in the psych unit, but before when shyt went down and the police came "to make sure everyone was safe," but just escalated the situation.

Possible trigger:

In the ER once I was restrained and this guard put like half his weight on my right breast with his hand. Another time I was in alcohol detox and they restrained me on a bed (not a gurney) so my legs were spread ridiculously wide like right after I was raped. Restrained other times, but those were the two worst. During my first manic episode my partner at the time called 911 and they sent the police and when they found me in the woods they thought I had a knife so they pointed their guns, I think it was just the bean bags, but I don't know, at me.

Another time my dad threatened me with a frying pan and I went into total fight mode and of course the neighbors called PD who just saw a girl tripping over her words yelling so they carried me out and tased me because I tried getting away.

They also maced me once because I ran out of my pdoc's office after saying "fk crisis planning" and, again, went into fight/fight mode and pissed them off. Great ways of handling mental health crises these police have.

Another time was my fault, but I eloped from a hospital in the middle of the night and ran down a road and was almost hit by the police car looking for me.

Now I'm aggressive AND do anything I can to hide my unwellness/dangerous behavior to EMS and professionals that don't know me well enough to tell when things are worse than usual and legitmately require a hospitalization rather than just coming up with cope-ahead, crisis planning methosd and maybe a check in between sessions

But yeah, severe avoidance of police and treatment team when I know I'm unwell or at least know my behavior is going to come across as dangerous to them (or is straight up illegal).