everyone feels that way. its normal to feel like you need to prep to see doctors, therapists or even study for a test in school or prep for something going on at work when you know someone else may be judging whether you are doing something right or wrong or judging whether you have a health issue or not or medical issue or not. its called performance anxiety, stage fright and other commonly used words. everyone has it and its normal. heck read the posts in the forums and see how many times people mention they have anxiety about an upcoming appointment and how they are prepping their self for their upcoming therapy appointmens. theres literally thousands of posts about having anxiety about going to therapy on this psychotherapy forum board alone, not to mention all the ones that show up on other boards too. its normal to have anxiety about therapy and meetings with case workers.

you have been posting how no one will help you, well heres two treatment providers ready and willing to meet with you to work with you, to help you develop a treatment plan that can help you.

like with AA or any other mental physical health issues, only you can decide whether you want to accept the help that they are trying to give, and only you know whether you will have consequences for not attending therapy sessions and meetings with your treatment providers.

what I can tell you is that...

only your treatment providers can tell you what your rights and responsibilities are and what their agencies rules are for no show appointments.

here in my location no shows get 2 chances and then they are terminated off the schedule books and their files closed. some get closure appointments some do not.

the reason why my location has this no show rules is because theres a 2 year waiting list for people to get assigned a mental health treatment provider.

my opinion if you want the help then dont waste your appointments on "no shows" and constant cancellations.

if this was me knowing theres a 2 year waiting list for mental health agencies to get a treatment provider I would go to the meeting and to prep I would be making my personal lists of goals and expectations of why I want to be in therapy and what I want to accomplish in therapy and what treatment options I would like to try. then at the meeting discuss my list and theres and be part of the process of developing my treatment plans.

again, only you know what your treatment providers and mental health agencies rights and responsibilities and whether or not they include "no show" and number of cancelations consequenses.