Yeah, in all honesty I've had an STI from shyt I did in some sort of episode, and they pretty much said "don't worry about it, I get that you have some trouble making good decisions because of your mental state." or something similar. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid, but I feel like the relationship is just screwed at this point. There was the initial idealization I do, and now since they've said they want me in their life "as long as I'll let them", I've just been distant in every way except sexually. That scared the crap out of me. I don't know if this (disorganized attachment/BPD type BS) is more at play or if thinking they're screwing other people all the time is more of it. I was at first completely infatuated with them as I do. There was a period of extreme anger, and then back to the obsession, and now there's nothing.

I don't know. Logically I don't have proof of the porn thing, but I just KNOW they're doing this.